Wedding Planning Advice: Should The Bride Give A Speech?

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wedding planning, wedding advice, wedding planning advice, newly wed, experienced event planner, wedding speeches, bridal speeches, speech preparing, speech advice

One of the most popular parts of a wedding day is the speeches; done well they can be a real roller coaster of emotions, full of laughter, poignant moments and happy tears.  Historically the speeches have been the mens’ moment to shine but more and more brides are now choosing to stand up and say their piece.  So should the bride give a speech and if so, what should she think about?

For me, the answer is a huge and resounding YES!  Personally, it seems incredibly outdated that the bride doesn’t add her thoughts to the speeches and having put so much love, time, effort and energy into every other part of the day, it seems right and appropriate to me for the bride to play a role.  Even if you have little experience of making speeches and the thought of talking to a large crowd normally brings you out in a rash, I would urge you to consider saying a few words.  Remember that everyone in the room loves you and at this point in the day people will be fully immersed in the joy of the occasion – you will never have a friendlier or more welcoming audience to speak to!

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The great thing about moving away from etiquette is there are no rules about what you “should” or “have to” say; you are literally free to say whatever you want.  It is worth remembering however that the traditional thank yous to guests and the bridal party are likely to have already been covered off by your husband so it’s a good idea to agree with your groom beforehand who is thanking whom – for me, it was important to personally thank my bridesmaids for example.  That way, there is no awkward repetition on the day.

From my own experiences, the one piece of advice I would give to any bride to be planning on giving a speech is to not underestimate the emotion of the situation.  Through my job I was used to standing up and presenting and so wasn’t at all nervous beforehand; I had thought about the main things I wanted to say, the people I wanted to thank and recognise and so I planned on standing up and speaking, without notes.  After all, I would never normally present with notes.

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What I failed to take into consideration however, is that I’m not normally talking to a room of people I love, on my wedding day, about people I love.  And that’s far more emotive a subject and situation than any pressurised work presentation.  As a result, I got quite tearful and didn’t manage to say all the things that I wanted to about the most important person there that day, my new husband.  In fact, he ended up having to stand up with me just so that I could compose myself!

I hadn’t wanted to take notes with me as I thought it would look less polished but I would advise any bride to make notes and have them as a guide on the day.  If you don’t need to refer to them, then great.  But nobody will think any less of you if you do and it should help you to stay on track and say all the things you want to, in a potentially overwhelming scernario.

So go on, be brave – stand up and say a few words!

Image Credits: Green Photographic

Are you planning on giving a speech at your wedding?  Or perhaps you’re already married and did – or didn’t – give a speech….we’d love to hear your experiences and any potential regrets.

Vicki xx

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31 COMMENTS

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  4. RT @EllieJayArt: I did! Couldn’t agree with you more :) RT @pocketfuldreams Wedding Planning Advice: Should The Bride Give A Speech? http://t.co/vDSqtqts

  5. RT @EllieJayArt: I did! Couldn’t agree with you more :) RT @pocketfuldreams Wedding Planning Advice: Should The Bride Give A Speech? http://t.co/vDSqtqts

  6. Hollie says:

    I wasn’t brave enough to do a speak as such on our wedding day (I’m far too emotional for that!), but I did want to have my say and thank everyone personally, including my lovely husband. In the end I decided to do a written ‘speech’ – basically a letter to all of my guests and left it at their wedding breakfast places with a little note on the front of the envelope asking them to open it after the speeches had finished.

    For me it was the perfect compromise and the guests absolutely loved it (despite making lots of them cry!), particularly as they got to take it away with them and read it again if they wanted to. I felt like I’d had my say and got across everything I wanted to, as I know if I hadn’t I would have really regretted it. Also, it meant that I got to perfect it and say things exactly as I wanted to and didn’t forget anyone/anything in the heat of the moment.

  7. KateQ says:

    I did a very short speech and was really glad I did. It was only about a paragraph but it was a nice opportunity for me to thank some of my friends who had travelled a long way to be there. I focused on thanking the guests for coming rather than saying things about my new husband as I’ve never been that good at putting that kind of thing into words (also why I couldn’t write my own vows!).

    I thought the hardest thing was thinking of how to end it as theres no tradition of who to toast and you can’t really toast yourself!

    • Good for you Kate – although I am annoyed I let emotion get in the way of everything I wanted to cover, I’m so pleased I did make my speech.
      Good point about the ending – I made a toast to my new husband (who as you can see from the photo above, by this point was holding me up!)
      x

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  11. http://t.co/7QopyTWY RT @ElleStationery: @pocketfuldreams Best decision I made to make one, also teared up though!

  12. http://t.co/fMp0VQhZ RT @ElleStationery: @pocketfuldreams Best decision I made to make one, also teared up though!

  13. So far we seem to have a resounding YES to this question but what do you think? http://t.co/Dfp5qKeE

  14. So far we seem to have a resounding YES to this question but what do you think? http://t.co/Z5HK1yoQ

  15. http://t.co/1zOIvbLq go on then say a few words keep it short sweet loving and happy no emotional tears or breakdowns not a good look!

  16. We’re challenging tradition in today’s wedding planning advice on @pocketfuldreams http://t.co/Dfp5qKeE

  17. We’re challenging tradition in today’s wedding planning advice on @pocketfuldreams http://t.co/Z5HK1yoQ

  18. Even though I’m a million miles away from having a wedding, I of course have the odd thought about what I’d like and would definitely do my own speech. It’s the perfect occasion to share how much you love your friends and family.

    I do think emotions could be an issue but making it short and sweet should help!

    Laura x

    • Hi Laura – it never harms to give these things some thought! I’m so happy you are planning to give a speech; it really is such a rare and precious opportunity to speak to all the people you love together in one place.
      x

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  20. “@SarahHouston1: Bride Tips: Should The Bride Give A Speech? ~ http://t.co/tS6wD3D1 | courtesy @pocketfuldreams”

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  22. RT @SarahHouston1: Bride Tips: Should The Bride Give A Speech? ~ http://t.co/gdCVJGo7 | courtesy @pocketfuldreams

  23. Natalie Silverman says:

    I decided to give a speech on my wedding, probably when I was a bridesmaid for the 5/6th time and once again saw my best friends as beautiful Brides, sitting silently, loving all that was said, but it kinda frustrated me that they didn’t get a chance to speak. I admit I work in radio, so talking is what I do, but aside from being comfortable in front of a mic, I wanted to be able to thank the people who had made the whole journey to our big day – so special. Our wedding was in my parents garden and it was a ‘mission’ to accompolish, but we did it, as a family and it was an incredible day, exhausting but incredible. So before the party really got going I stood up and said my piece. No regrets at all, I loved every single second of it. My advice would be do it! Save the best till last ladies and YOU have the last word x.

    • Vicki DeBlasi says:

      Hey Natalie – I agree entirely; the bride sitting there all meek and mild just seems at odds with modern day society (at odds with me anyway!).
      I cannot tell you how thrilled I am about the huge and resounding YES we have had in response to this question; great to see what a confident, self-assured and awesome bunch of ladies our POD readers are!
      P.s. your wedding sounds all kinds of amazing!
      Vicki x

  24. Some fab comments on this post this week. Independent ladies, I salute you! http://t.co/RoTtGSzR

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  26. Question: Should The Bride Give A Speech? ~ http://t.co/gdCVJGo7 | courtesy @pocketfuldreams

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