You’re never miss your Porter mag fix and you’ve spent adulthood living the high-life at secret-parties and festivals up and down the country. So why all of a sudden are you pinning sickly sweet images of pastel florals to Pinterest and obsessing over which shade of peach would be best for your bridesmaids?

Inspiration overload – that’s why. It’s not easy planning a wedding; you generally have no frame of reference bar that one cool party you once organised. You may know exactly how to curate your stylishly-modern wardrobe and be a dab hand at picking out oh-so-de-rigour homewares for your abode but when it comes to what’s supposed to be the biggest day of your life, you’re drawing a blank. Or worse still are being swayed by everyone else’s opinion and that black-hole otherwise known as Pinterest. So what’s a girl to do?

Photo: Lucy Little 

Well that’s where you need no-nonsense, straight-talking peeps who know exactly how to get this party started. Like use here at Pocketful of Dreams, as wedding and event planners we’ve seen it all and partied with the best of them, having created spectacular weddings for those couples who don’t do middle-of-the-road. From 3-day festival extravaganzas to epic outdoor celebrations and weddings in woodlands with just the local wildlife, 50 huge disco balls and a few superstar DJs for company.

We certainly know a thing or two about throwing the right kind of shindig, one that’s all about you…and him, of course!. So we are sharing a few wedding planning rules to follow that will help you keep your identity whilst not losing your head during the process……

Photo: Matt Parry

Photo: Nick Rose

Photo: Nicola and Glen

How to plan a wedding – our no-nonsense guide

RULE #1 START WITH WHAT YOU DON’T WANT

Often it’s easier to reel off a great big long list of all the things you hate about weddings or think are naff. Do this, then flip it….and now you have your perfectly formed vision of the type of day you do want.

Photo: Helen Cawte

Photo: Chris Barber 

RULE #2 INVOLVE THE OTHER HALF

Remember it’s his day too! It may not seem like it but the groom-to-be is often way more interested than you may expect and we find they relish the chance to get creative about cool decor and party-popping ideas.  Just don’t tell his mates.

Also give him a clear task that’s his to own without interference….other than subliminal messaging, that’s totally allowed. Something like organising the music / entertainment / fire throwers or anything motor based…they love that.

Photo: Chris Barber 

RULE #3 LIGHTEN UP AND FORGET THE FORMALITIES

Prefer to party than stand in line to shake someone’s hand? Then ditch the receiving line, it’s so 1980’s and it eats into valuable drinking and dancing time. Why not shake things up even more and go without an assigned seating plan altogether, it’s the element that can cause the most headaches amongst families anyway, so save yourself the hassle and let guests battle it out gladiator style. Mixing things up like this also makes for much more inspiring conversations over the dinner table.

Photo:Nicola and Glen 

Photo: Katy Lunsford

RULE #4 TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

Many people, even your well-meaning best friend, will have pre-conceived ideas about what a wedding ‘should’ be all about. They will try to steer you towards taffeta bows, nasty chair covers and boring venues. We say balls to that, if it feels right then do it, you know better than anyone what makes you tick, so go do it.

Photo: Nicola and Glen

Photo: Chris Barber

Photo: Anushe Low

RULE #5 THERE ARE NO RULES

Who says you can’t have your male best friend as your maid of honour? Why is that exquisite, sequinned Jenny Packham gown, that hugs your curves in all the right places, not wedding appropriate? Why can’t you get married in a forest and hang disco balls from the trees? Well we say YOU CAN, and you should, with a little know-how and a trusty team behind you, anything is possible. The best weddings are those that don’t follow convention, they’re brave, fearless and fierce. They make their own rules.

Photo: Anneli Marinovich

Photo: Anneli Marinovich

Photo: Chris Barber

RULE #6 GO WITH WHAT YOU LIKE

When it comes to wedding decor it can often seem a little paint-by-numbers, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Love all things silver and shiny? Then collect random and interesting looking objects, like pineapples, then whack out the silver spraypaint, bam, totally original decor. Maybe you have an Imelda Marcos style obsession with shoes – they make great planters for floral arrangements you know. Or what about that collection of nineties CDs you’ve got going on, I bet those covers are pretty creative (not to mention highly amusing) so why not create a photobooth backdrop out of them? Be daring, be original, but most of all just be you, no matter how crazy you think your ideas are someone, somewhere, will have done something wilder…so just go for it.

Photo: Anneli Marinovich

RULE #7 REMEMBER THE KEY TO A GREAT PARTY

Sure your wedding day is way more than just another party, but by laying down the fundamentals for a fabulous party for your guests, you’re ensuring an awesome wedding day for the two of you. Enjoyment is catching – how can you not have the ‘best day ever’ when your guests are dancing on the tables like their lives depend on it? We can guarantee that when you look back on your day, these memories – of you and your beloved surrounded by everyone you love having a blast – will be the ones that mean the most.

And the key? Great food and drink are a given, as is music and dancing, but it’s the element of surprise that keeps guests talking for years to come. So focus on giving them the best party of their lives and in return you’ll have the best day of yours. Karma’s great like that.

Photo: Matt Parry

We’d like to add in RULE #8 HIRE A WEDDING PLANNER, but really you don’t need us to tell you that this is a sensible idea. They can manage all the boring bits like contracts, budgets, logistics and all that wedmin, leaving you free to daydream about your most fantastical adventure yet with your other half. They can also be your no-nonsense best friend, bridesmaid and confidante all rolled into one, keeping you on the straight and narrow when you go a little bridezilla crazy – because sometimes it happens, even to the best of us. Weddings take a LOT of planning, they’re like carefully orchestrated machines, so seek help from the experts and save your sanity.

Want more like this? read our advice on:

• How to get the wedding wow-factor
• Tips on determining your wedding ceremony style
• How to avoid theming your wedding day
• How to choose wedding colours 
• Our expert tips on marquee wedding styling